we are all embers from the same fire.

embers • just jack

i don’t do hallmark holidays so instead, i’ll just stick with happy new year. it is officially 2010. last month was just a dry run… this is it. let’s go!

i apologise for the hiatus. the sudden move to china meant i barely had time to sit down and update the blog. on top of that, the move also meant that my internet access was restricted (thanks to the great firewall of china). yes, social networking sites and youtube are blocked… and blogging sites as well! it’s crazy, i know.

anyway, i am back in uncensored interwebs so i actually have no excuse not to update regularly, huh.

i can’t really say the past four-six months have been uneventful because no matter how “boring” it may seem… something crazy always happens. that’s life’s guarantee, at least in my life. i will eventually post missing photos from last year and include some serendipitous adventures. yes, i love that word - serendipity.

i’ve learned that once i keep myself open, good things will always come. a lot of my most awesome experiences are the “random” encounters, the spur-of-the-moment/unplanned adventures… i’ve met the most amazing people by just… well, living life and being open to what life throws my way. life is full of wonderful surprises like that… just roll with the punches and go with the flow. things have a way of falling into place.

as my friend, oyo said: live like it’s your first and last day.

people have always said to “live like it’s your last day”… that’s true. living life as if you could lose everything any moment, as if it could all end any moment, makes you feel things a little more intensely, appreciate the little things more, listen more attentively, be a little more understanding… basically makes you not take things for granted.

but remember what it was like being a kid? as a kid, everything was interesting, magical… there’s that sense of awe and splendour even at the little things. as we grow older, we tend to lose that. we tend to lose the magic and disregard to see the beauty in things. everything becomes mechanical, mundane.

that’s why i agree to live like it’s the first and last day… to have that sense of desperation to experience everything, to truly feel and appreciate life and all it has to offer… and more importantly to regain that sense of wonder and awe… even in the little things. because once you do that, you realise that life is great. life has a lot to offer. you just have to open your eyes, heart and mind.

it’s not easy to do - to feel deeply for everything everyday… but i believe that it’s the only way to truly live. i’m trying to understand and apply the concept of not getting attached. at least, not in the typical “attachment”, the way i used to get attached before. i’m human and getting attached is human nature… but i’m learning to be able to hold something, someone dear in my heart while being able to let them go at the same time. i don’t know if that makes sense… i want to be able to take with me the people, places, things i encounter in life but be able to look back at them without feeling the pain of leaving, of separation. i’ve been able to do that with some things and even some people - my family, my friends… no matter where i am, they are with me always… i suppose once it’s because there’s a bond that is forged, a bond that i know will never be broken.

live like it’s the first and last day. that’s going to be my mantra.

2010 looks promising. the year awaits. my adventures have already been lined up and more opportunities are presenting themselves. work. projects. people. travel. i am very thankful. i am blessed. 2010 will definitely rock.

i miss you!

i won’t always love what i’ll never have.
i won’t always live in my regrets.

23 • jimmy eat world

i have been away the past two weeks hence the sudden lack of updates. now i am back and i have quite a few photos (aside from the old ones) mostly b&w taken with my old skool fm3a… so i promise to put up more photos as soon as they’re developed.

going home made me miss paris even more… i cannot even begin to start how much i miss paris. mostly, i just miss the little things, the simple (yet complicated - it’s the french, it’s never simple) little daily random things, my bestfriend, all the insane food treks, loooong walks, random finds, the marais… the list goes on and on and on. i miss paris so much. i hate admiting it out loud but i do. i miss it so much that when i heard a couple of french tourists back home, i almost ran up to them and just start speaking in french. it’s good i still speak a little bit of french ‘cos i really do not want to lose what little french i know. i miss paris so much that this old french couple made getting stuck at admisibility review almost - keyword: almost - bearable.

these photos were taken during one of my last few days in paris. p and i were walking, just wandering from the 18th to the 10th… we saw a bunch of pigeons feasting on a broken baguette… it was really interesting just watching them - i’m not a big fan of pigeons but it was pretty cool how they were just perched on the railing and cooing. it reminded me of old ladies just hanging around late in the afternoon to just chill and gossip. i dunno, i thought it was pretty cool.

i miss paris, i hope to be able to get back to that side of the atlantic by the end of the summer… and it would be awesome if i could also drop by north africa.  *fingers crossed*

taken in chelsea as i was gallery hopping one afternoon.
these guys were just sitting on the sidewalk enjoying their break;
they were pretty chill as i motioned with my camera to take a photo, he sorta even posted for me.
i miss nyc already.